Kill me slowly with Pepto Bismol

It appears to Zoltan that excessive consumption of Blueberry Cheesecake induces lamentable side effects. The adroit, rhetorical communiqués published each day by The League all possess similar undertones of wretched, inconsolable despair. Each member deliberates on an array of compelling brews, each brew holding the reviewer immersed and intent on the profound, abstruse, philosophical take on life and each philosophical assessment alluding to a troubled psychologically challenged mind. Or in Zoltan's humble opinion anyway.

Zoltan is concerned at the increase in number of failed attempts at self harm and suicide by the members of the League. One of the more eminent contributors to The League divulges her belief that she will only encounter true contentment posthumously and many of her narrations chronicle her indisposition at continuing to draw breath. Such Tragedy. And yet no one seems to have gone to her aid.
Zoltan couldn't help but be concerned about the tragic story of The Paramour bereaved by his one true love and his complete sense of despondency. Does his lengthy silence mean the Paramour may have accomplished what the others merely threaten to do?
The most mentally disoriented dramatist of the group somehow doesn't seem able to decide what it is he wants to slit his wrists over. And his devotees merely stand around and applaud his troubled sentiments.
A Pseudo Masochistic considerately publicly envisages her deliberate, gory demise. Could this possibly be a another call for help?
The Inconsolable Poet's agility at publishing invokes memories of Indu Dharmasena's aptitude for churning out comedies. In an attempt to grab the attention and aid of a compassionate caregiver this poet completely spruced up her page to resemble a pepto bismol advertisement. And still tragically, no help.

Zoltan has observed the numerous comments on each post and the encouraging messages left behind. The Holy Highness would like to suggest that these disturbed individuals aren't really looking to be stimulated spiritually. If they were, wouldn't the promising messages of hope, comfort them and embolden them into more positive,mentally stable individuals?
Yes they need encouragement. Give them that little push if they are teetering on the brink of a cliff, hand them the bread knife if all they have is a rusty bic razor blade and if they want to die slowly copious quantities of pepto bismol seems to be a favourite amongst them so go ahead and give them a whole carton of it and a couple of straws!